I've been feeling a little depressed lately. Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time to when it was simpler. Back when my grandparents were still alive. Back when the opposite sex still had cooties. Back when your bestfriend would NEVER stab you in the back. Back when pinky promises were kept. Back when the biggest thing you worried about was when you'd see your friends or parents again. I'm 17 and I want to go back 10 years. Just to see my grandparents again. I love them and I miss them so much everyday. I haven't told my parents this since I was 7 and my nanny first passed away. I'm depressed because I miss them. I don't want to tell my parents because I don't want to live a fake life on pills. Even though there's so much pain and hurt I'd rather know that they're my true feelings then have drug induced happiness. I just wish I could have had a little more time with them. I wish I could go back in time just to tell them that I love them one more time and to hear them say it back

Damn my luck...I'm back in the rut. I fell back into the confusion but I guess I'm happier in the confusion. Who even knows anymore because I sure don't. Tomorrow's the last day of school this week! Woop, woop! Then it's Turkey Day(Thanksgiving) time :DDD

Woot!

Confusion's gone cause I'm movin' on! :D

I'm officially confused...you tell me that you like me and that you don't want me to move on but we can't be together and I reallyyy want to be with you. I care about you and I would do anything for you in a heartbeat. Even with everything you've put me through but you continue to go back to the person that treats you like pure shit. You're going to get hurt by that person...again, but don't worry...I'll be here for you when they do...just like I always am. I don't want to move on but maybe it's for the better if I do? Who knows...I just want all the confusion to be gone /:

A hug from you makes everything better...happy Courtney :)

Well, Momma came home from the hospital Friday night. They still don't know what was wrong and she has to go back for some check ups soon. It's sad that something this traumatic has to happen to learn who your true friends are but it did and I did learn who those people really are. Moving on from the past and losing one shitty ass "friend"...if she could've even been called that to begin with...

Daddy just texted Caitlin...they're keeping her overnight...not sure how to take that but all that seems to register is the bad /: